I’ve been fighting with the morality of the army for 3 years. It’s natural, maybe to any army kid that that’s what you will do. And I was set on it I just got distracted at 16 until now, and I’ve changed a lot and grown up and been mostly disgusted and disheartened by the whole operation and mentality of the army yet it still seems like it’s going to happen. Like it’s national service to me. When my brother finally done it at 25, joined, and is now a royal marine it didn’t hit like it would to most people it was just like ok whatever, finally not the consequence of the fucking shit you are getting trained to do. I was actually angry and angry that he got married because it seemed selfish but I get it now. He finally gave in. …. And nothing I will do will compare in terms of parental pride.
I don’t give a shit about queen and country yet it still feels dutiful and hey what’s 3 years of my fucking life huh„,